Can you read my mind?

Having been a primary school teacher for many years, one of my fondest memories, particularly with Kindergarten, was that first day of the school year. You would collect your class from the assembly, move to the classroom and there, as everyone sat on the floor in front of you, would be a sea of fresh little faces. Some starring up at you intently, some with a look of fear and trepidation, others with a look of admiration, eager to please and then some that didn’t even pay attention to you and were off in their own world. You had parents pacing up and down outside the classroom, other had dropped, kissed and farewelled, others crying inconsolably over the fact that there little one was starting school. Children and parents, all different, all unique. It often made me think “why I do what I do”? 

Understanding the key driver or core potency behind our sometimes reactive behaviours can be scary to some. Recently I had a mother call me who wanted me to see her teenage son, Peter, who was struggling in year 11 at school. She explained he had started to have anxiety attacks worrying about relationships, school-work and the future. Along with the anxiety, he was beginning to withdraw and show anti-social behaviours and she worried he was spiralling into a depression. What arrived at my office was a tall, handsome, pimply, young teenager – the epitome of an ugly duckling who just wanted to blossom but didn’t know how. 

Together we worked to address the question “why I do what I do?” by exploring the idea that the human personality is made up of three intelligences, all of which we draw on, but one is more dominant. My hope was he would discover what his dominant intelligence was and how that was influencing his view of the world. 

Ancient wisdom and modern science tell us these are the gut, heart and head intelligence. The gut revolves around sensing, the heart around feeling and the head around thinking. 

During our discussion it became obvious his main focus was on injustice and unfairness in the world and he described the anger he felt around these issues. One of the main concerns weighing him down, was that he didn’t like that anger and the way it made him feel. His gut intelligence was ruling his view of the world. He had a difficulty with personal boundaries and had shut down mentally and emotionally. 

We then identified that the same gut intelligence had a flip side that could empower him and we discussed that his path was to embrace discomfort, prioritise himself and that “no” was okay. This was a light bulb moment for him as he was struggling with all the typical peer pressures of a 17 year old. As the session was winding up, with a smile, Peter’s final words to me were “How did you become a mind reader!” 

The truth is once we can understand our core potency we have a much better chance of learning to react less and respond more. This lightbulb “aha” moment for Peter was one in which he could identify some of the patterns that were holding him back from living life fully to experience his Path of Purpose. 

When we begin to understand “why I do what I do” our emotional well-being is laid on a solid foundation from which we can move forward to experience the world with more compassion for ourselves and others.